How many unwritten rules do we feel compelled to follow and which ones should we perhaps ignore.
In Japanese society there are 1000 unwritten rules, most don’t apply to foreigners. But simple one if I go to Starbucks I first need find a spare seat and reserve that by placing something on the table, anything even smallest item like hand cloth will do and nobody will push it aside and take my seat while in the queue then when I am finished I need to return my cup and tray to the designated place freeing up the chair for next person. That is a nice unwritten rule.
But what about some of societies norms. Like we should always be striving to earn more money and buy more things and showoff our status to others via luxury brands spending our lives stuck in this cycle. Is that the best use of our brief and transient spell of existence? Or those other unwritten rules of not doing things that would really make us happy because we are with someone who doesn’t share our passion or being in an unsatisfactory situation in our life but refusing to move on out of concern what family or friends might think.
Worrying about what other people think is such a powerful thing. I think riders enjoy a respite from that when on our bikes because motorcycling forces you to focus on the now. Some people say going for a ride is better than therapy for them and I don’t doubt that. It was on some of my rides I came to the conclusion that I needed to go my own way and trust that a new path will be revealed to me. (still waiting on that ha-ha)
I have some friends who would love to do some of my rides but lament their partner would never let them go. Ah spoiler alert – you are going to die. Are you really going to let time slip away just to not upset someone’s feelings? As my mate in the Philippines often notes – some people are just waiting to die. What will you do when Grim Reaper arrives for you. “Ah let me check with my partner, I don’t think I will be allowed to go Grim”.
There is respectful dialog then there is permissive control and subservience. You never should have to ask permission of another adult or apologize* for wanting to live a full life. They are not your parent. (*not to be confused with simply being pleasant day to day)
When writing the story of your life if you give the pen to someone else, if you forfeit your dreams to placate another or follow the advice of people who have been nowhere then chances are you will end up disappointed.
It’s 2020. Nobody else is living your life except you. Don’t let others tell you what is best. Unwritten rules are great at the cafe but otherwise of diminishing worth so start talking about the adventure you dream of embarking on and don’t stop until you will make it happen.